I moved to San Francisco back in 2013 not having a single friend here. While it was super intimidating, I knew that in order to be successful in the city and make a life for myself, I really had to be proactive making friends in San Francisco.
At the time, I was 22 years old. When you’re fresh out of college and have had your friends handed to you on a platter through clubs, sports or Greek life, it becomes very difficult to understand the reality of making new friends in SF. It’s intimidating, especially when you’re on your own.
One of the most difficult things is that many of the people living here already have established friend groups. If you think of people at work, many who have already lived here have established best friends. While they might be super friendly and looking to hang out from time to time, they aren’t always looking for their next best friend. That can be really difficult. Learning how to meet people in SF requires a bit of a mindset shift.
Using Meetup.com to Meet People in SF
The first place I recommend is where I made my best friends, the ones I’m still in touch with today, over a decade later. I know this is probably a random site now, and I think it was more popular ten years ago, but MeetUp is actually how I made my closest friends.
If you’re not familiar, it’s exactly what it sounds like: a place to meet up with people. There are soccer MeetUps and other hobby groups, but I specifically joined a group called “Women in their 20s and 30s New to San Francisco.” It had hundreds of women in it and regularly planned events like picnics, hikes, and outings to restaurants. Here’s a couple similar groups (one and two) that look pretty active today!
I went to several of these events, and it was ultimately at a picnic at Dolores Park where I met a couple of ladies that I finally clicked with. We became very close and hung out over the next few years. Eventually, they moved away from San Francisco, but I’m still very close with them today, they even came to my wedding!
Overcoming the Intimidation
I’ll preface this by saying I had to go to several MeetUps before I finally found the women I clicked with. It is intimidating to show up alone not knowing anyone. What brought me comfort was knowing that other women were in the exact same place I was. Everyone showing up to that group also needed to make friends. As worried as I was about awkward conversations, what gave me confidence was knowing we were all there for the exact same reason. A key to making friends in SF is to show up to these events consistently.
Join Local Organizations to Make Friends in San Francisco
The next place you can easily find friends is by joining an organization. There are two that I am well aware of that are great resources for how to make friends in SF in a more structured way:
The Junior League of San Francisco
I have been a member of the Junior League of San Francisco since 2017. This is a women’s leadership development organization. You do have to be comfortable with a certain level of commitment because it involves volunteering in the community, so it’s not purely a social organization.
However, many women join specifically to find community. The League has a variety of volunteer opportunities, but it also has a ton of social aspects. There are interest groups for professional women, foodies, tennis players, and moms. When I moved to New York City for one year, I joined the Junior League there specifically as a way to meet women. Everyone is very friendly, and you get a lot out of it in terms of your own development and giving back. You can read more about my experience in JLSF here.
Spinsters of San Francisco
There is also a group called Spinsters of San Francisco. This is a philanthropic organization. While I haven’t been a member myself, I know some of the women I met in the Junior League were members and had a very positive experience. It’s another great group to look into for making friends in SF if you enjoy charity work.
Making Friends in SF Through Your Workplace
I wouldn’t say this worked out for me initially, but over the years, I have made a couple of close friends from the workplace. I work at a large company, and the way I made those friends was really over time.
It wasn’t necessarily people on my immediate team; it happened to be a couple of women I worked cross-functionally with and over time, I built a friendship outside of work with them. There is a fine line to walk between immediate teammates and outside-of-work relationships, but if you are at a larger company, there is a huge opportunity to meet people if you put in the effort.
How to Meet People in SF Through Fitness and Hobbies
If you are into running, check out the Marina Run Club or Midnight Runners. Both are social running organizations catering to people who want to be social. They meet several times a week and can be a great co-ed avenue to meet and connect with people.
Beyond fitness, I recommend finding hobby groups that meet regularly so you can see the same people over and over. Think about what you currently do or what you’re looking to learn, this is one of the most organic ways for how to make friends in SF:
- Mahjong: This is all the rage right now. Joining a Mahjong class could be a great way to meet people.
- Creative Arts: I’m about to start a ceramics class with only eight people in it. It’s intimate, and I’ll see the same people for six weeks.
- Sports Lessons: I’ve done tennis lessons in the past. While I didn’t make best friends from it, it was very social and provided a great foundation to connect with people outside of the lessons.
The Key to Making Friends in SF: Be Intentional
In order to succeed at making friends in SF, I really had to put myself out there. It is not something that you can expect to just happen. You’re likely not going to meet a new best friend at a bar or just by sitting down in a park.
You have to be intentional, put yourself out there, and be willing to feel a little uncomfortable in order to build community. There are many people out there, especially post-pandemic, looking to make friends and meet new people in SF. In a city like San Francisco that is so transient, there are constantly new people moving here who are in the exact same boat as you.
If you’re currently looking to build community in the city, how have you been trying so far? What has been your biggest struggle in meeting people?
